Dancing With Change, Part III
Submitted by Martie Adler, American Student Assistance

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.” – William James

Dancing can be a solitary activity or can be done with a partner or group. Often the solitary dancer is part of a larger group—one individual sharing the experience with others. Dancing is also a self-elected activity chosen with deliberation simply for the experience of the dance. If we do not enjoy dancing, we have the choice not to dance!

Choosing to Dance
When we make the conscious choice to dance with change, it is a proclamation of our understanding that we have control over nothing but ourselves and our behavior. It is an act of self control that allows us to see the opportunities to dance with change, rather than the fruitless effort of trying to control it. Once we have made that shift, our focus is on what is possible, and that opens a whole new perspective in terms of how we view the events in our life. When we are in resistance to the change, we often cannot see the many opportunities that the change can bring forth, many of which just might be able to make our lives a bit easier. At the very least, choosing to dance will free up the energy we usually use to resist the change and allow us to focus it elsewhere. Once we have consciously chosen to dance with change and have experienced the difference between moving with rather than reacting to change, it’s time to invite others to dance along with us.

Dancing with Partners
In most cases, our colleagues and team take their cue from our response to the changes occurring in the workplace and have already begun to notice that they are not seeing the habitual (or learned) response from us. They may not yet know what is different, but they see the difference.

As you might have guessed, the next step in the process is teaching others to dance with change. When we dance with a partner, one will lead and one will follow, yet each person has a responsibility to the other and work together to achieve the best result. There is also the expectation that the more experienced dancer will lead, which we have already begun to do by our modeling different behavior toward change. We will continue to lead until our partner becomes proficient enough to either dance alone, or chooses a different partner.

There is one last factor to consider when choosing a partner—some people will refuse to dance. That is certainly their choice, just as choosing to dance is ours. However, once everyone around them is dancing they may reconsider when they see the positive impact in the environment.

Teaching the Dance
Although modeling a change is one of the most frequently used tools to teach others, we will add communication and the four steps we learned when we began to dance. Communicating what we have learned in modifying our response to change will set the stage for others being able to see the connection in their lives. We will begin with an explanation of the four steps.

• Observing our emotional responses to change and beginning to understand that we have no control over anything except our selves and our behaviors.
• Observing and contemplating the event that triggered our responses.
• Observe how our beliefs influence our responses to change.
• Begin to move with change as an observer, viewing it as an opportunity.

Sharing our own experiences with those we have partnered with will be invaluable to them in their growth and discovery. Part of the explanation that we can give to others is the two models discussed in part two of this series. While the models are simple in construct, it takes time to change habitual thoughts and behaviors and we have the opportunity to provide very real examples for those we are teaching. If we are working in a team environment (that team may be comprised of our business unit or department), the invitation to dance can be given to all team members at one time. The element of group experience in this instance has very high value as everyone will be able to observe others in the group going through the same change, yet with differing results. Each team member will also become both the dance instructor and the dance partner—leading to an easier learning experience.

Where to Dance
As we continue to dance with change, our skill level increases and it becomes almost effortless. One of the primary benefits of learning this type of dance is that we can dance whenever and wherever we choose. Others around us may choose to continue reacting to change but that does not have to affect how we respond. We can choose the opportunity or we can choose to be in resistance. Shall We Dance?

Martie Adler is a consultant with American Student Assistance, a FFELP guarantor. Martie is part of the Consultative Services team and provides consulting services to client schools in the areas of organizational development, change management, and leadership development. Martie has worked in the financial aid and student financial services industry for over twenty five years, and has been an independent consultant and coach for fifteen years. Martie can be reached at madler@amsa.com.

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©2006 American Student Assistance. This article may be reformatted and reproduced for distribution by any non-profit or not-for-profit organization without obtaining the consent of the author provided that the copyright notice, author, and author’s biography are included within any subsequent publication.